One year

Today marks one year since I had to make the decision to save my life over my beautiful surroangels. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her and that decision. I wish so much that I could change what happened..... What hurts even worse than the loss of Paz is the loss of my IM's. I have not herd ONE word from them in months and the photo they promised me of Paz I still have not received. I have for months now been felling so much guilt because I can not remember what she looks like any longer. I need to email them but I am so afraid of the possible rejection I may receive. I wish this were much easier to do.................

Today I am going to go out to San Francisco. Paz's ashes were spread into the bay. I figured that the cliff house would be the best place to go and visit her. I have wrote her a letter that I plan on throwing into the crashing waves.....